Uh oh! How do I explain Sudbury to my family at the holidays?!?!

The holidays are coming.  It's the most wonderful time of the year!  You get to see family you haven't seen in a while, they want to know all about your life and they want to know, "what the heck is a Sudbury School?"

Then, the questions start coming… how do they learn math?  How do they get into college?  Aunt Martha was a public school teacher for 35 years.  What do you mean there are no grades, homework or tests?  Students can choose what to do?  Well, that's just plain crazy.  Pass the cranberries...

In hopes of making your holidays a little less stressful, here are some answers to common questions and tips to help you along in your conversations with skeptical family members.

1.  What is Sudbury?
Every Sudbury School describes it a little differently.  Here's our take in Atlanta:

• Individualized Education: Traditional schools are moving toward standardized learning where everyone learns the same things and the outcomes are exactly the same.  At SSA, we believe that young people are not standardized.  They have unique, amazing talents, skills, abilities and passions.  The best way to individualize their education is to let them lead the way.  Students choose and pursue what interests them.
• Democratic Operating Structure:  Every student gets a voice and a vote.  They manage their own budget, create all the rules of conduct and manage the judicial process if rules are broken.  What better way for students to learn how to be engaged citizens in American democracy than creating and managing a democracy at school?  We sure wish Congress went to a K-12 democratically-run school.  They might have learned how to negotiate in productive ways so the government wouldn't have shut down!
• Multi-Age Environment:  All students learn from each other.  It is an organic way of learning for young people that is closed off in traditional schools.  We value the contributions of every student in the learning community.  

Here's a great one minute video about a parent's reflections on the Sudbury model.    

2.  How do they learn math?
Students manage their own budget through the democratic process.  If they want a school pet, say a gerbil, they need to figure out:

• How much does a gerbil cost?
• How much is a cage, food, bedding, water bottle, toys, vitamins, etc?
• How often do I need to buy additional food, bedding or toys?
• If a gerbil gets sick, how much is it to see a vet?

They learn math through the experience of pursuing their interests and goals.  Sudbury begins with the human experience and students gain knowledge through the process of trying to reach their goals.  Traditional schools present "subjects" and hope students translate that information to the human experience.  Unfortunately, most students in traditional schools don't translate it and just complain, "when am I going to use this in 'real life'?"  Sudbury is real life.

3.  I've never heard of Sudbury before?
The original Sudbury Valley School opened in Sudbury, Massachusetts in 1968.  There are now about 40 Sudbury schools worldwide.

4.  How do they get into college?
Most colleges now have an alternative school admissions track.  One quarter of all colleges are also "test-optional," meaning that they do not require the SAT or ACT standardized test scores.  Universities recognize that test scores are not a valid indicator of student success.  As well, statistics from the original Sudbury Valley School tell us that 85% of graduates go on to college and about 80% of those get into their first college of choice.

The Sudbury model is all about empowering students to become independent thinkers, good decision makers and engaged citizens.  So, be confident and don't take your family's questions personally.  They are learning too.  You have found an amazing school that fits your family's needs, goals and aspirations.  We hope that every family can find the same fit, regardless of the educational model.  Happy holidays to you and your whole family.  Please pass the cranberries...  

The Bumpy Road to Self-Regulation

As parents, we all want our children to find success in managing their lives and interactions.  We want them to be kind, to speak up for themselves, to take chances, to know when the risks are too great, to not be afraid to fail and to pick themselves up again if they do.  We want them to manage their time so there is a balance between what they want to do and what others may require of them.  What we want for our children is self-regulation.  It is an incredibly important life skill, particularly as an adult when the stakes of life are higher, i.e. jobs, bills, or caring for family.

So how do children learn self-regulation?  

Let's start with the end goal.  Self-regulation is about children encountering a situation, new or old, and intentionally translating their past experiences into decision making that provides a more positive outcome than last time.  There are many expert definitions, but this is the basic idea.

Other ways to think about this question are, how do children learn to be better decision-makers?  How do children learn to trust themselves and their own experience?    

The Freedom to Experience

In order for students to be able to translate past experience into decision making that results in more positive outcomes, children must have the freedom to experience life, both in school and out.  They must have the freedom to make decisions and to see the results of those decisions.  

If we do not give children the freedom to choose, we have robbed them of the learning process.

How can a child reflect on past experiences if he or she has no past experiences of making a choice?  Or, imagine that every time a child confronts a puzzling situation, an adult jumps in an solves it for them.  The child will not learn to make decisions.  They will learn to wait for adults to save them.  A child must have the freedom to experience if they are going to have experiences upon which they can reflect.

The Freedom to Fail

A child must also have the freedom to fail and be supported in taking the risk.  If we are not allowing children to fail, we are not allowing them to learn.  And isn't that what we want?  We want our children to LEARN self-regulation.  

So, as parents and as schools, children must be supported in taking risks that they choose and we must support them in the outcome, regardless of whether the outcome is positive or negative.  

For the academicians following along here, this is the basis of David Kolb's Experiential Learning Cycle.

This is how children learn self-regulation.  You'll notice that half the model is experimentation and experience.  This is how deep learning happens.                  

Trusting yourself

In order for students to trust their own experience and trust their judgment, they must be in an environment that trusts them.  John Holt expressed this challenge best:

"To trust children, we must first learn to trust ourselves... and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted."

Providing a trusting environment for children is essential in order for them to develop the trust in themselves to guide their decision-making.  

At the Sudbury School of Atlanta, we know that every child at our school is fully capable of self-regulation.  There is no question.  We also know that in order to effectively self-regulate, that students must experiment, experience and reflect in order to make sense of their world.  Many times that means making decisions that their parents don't like, making decisions that they, as students, don't like, and making decisions that have negative outcomes.  

This is the bumpy road to self-regulation.  When a child learns to ride a bike, they must fall and scrape their knee to know where the balance point is and where it is not.  And through practice in a supportive environment, they improve with every experience.

So, let them try.  Let them fail and try again.  They are natural learners.  Support them in their risk-taking and support them regardless of the outcome.  This is how deep learning happens.  And we will know that we are successfully supporting our children when they begin to speak the words of Thomas Edison:

"I have not failed.  I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work." 

The Luxury of Time

At the Sudbury School of Atlanta, I've found that one of the most impactful elements of the Sudbury model is the luxury of time for a student to choose and explore and reflect.

If we want our students to become independent thinkers, they must have the time and space to think independently.  If we want them to be reflective, they must have time to be reflective.  If we want them to dive deep into their passions, they need the time to find out what those passions are and then time to dive into them.

At any traditional school, students are shuffled from one classroom to another and one activity to another without an opportunity to choose or explore or reflect.  They are told that whatever the teacher says or does is more important than their interests.  No wonder students in the traditional system are not motivated.  How can students follow their passions if they are not given the time or choice?  How can they learn to be good decision makers if they have no time and no opportunity to make decisions?  How can they learn to communicate, mediate and negotiate if they have no time and no opportunity to practice those skills?

As a staff member at SSA, I am often approached by students who seek help with reading or writing.  At the moment a student requests help, staff can drop everything and help that student for as long as the student feels the need for help.  It may take 30 seconds or an hour.  It doesn't matter.  What is most critical is that students at SSA get the help they request immediately, for as long as the student feels they want assistance.  That's the luxury of time.

No other school model or even the experience of a parent has this luxury.  Schools punch the time clock.  If you can't keep up, you are labeled as "behind" and sent to an after school tutoring program.  As a parent, when your child seeks help, you may be off to soccer practice, buying groceries, on the phone, filling the gas tank, etc.

What more could a parent want for their child than when, at the moment their child seeks help, there is a supportive caring person ready to help, right away, for as long as they need it?

A few months ago, a student said to me, "Can we talk?"
"Sure!" I said.
We sat down right there and talked about life... and nothing in particular.  Ten minutes later, when the student said what she had to say, "Thanks!  I'm going outside now."

What does a student learn from that?  They learn that they matter.  They learn that they are an independent person who is respected.  They learn that no matter how busy life gets outside of school with parents, friends and activities, that school is a safe space where they can be who they are without judgment or evaluation or postponement.

As I tell our parents:

Any environment can teach math but not every environment can teach self-worth.

That is the luxury of time.  Only Sudbury offers this and it is an honor to be part of a school that puts students first, foremost and always.

-Dave Soleil